Embrace the uncertainty - CHANGE

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒊𝒔, 𝒘𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒘. 𝑨𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒐𝒔, 𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒊𝒄𝒓𝒐 𝒎𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚. 𝘿𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚? 𝙄'𝙢 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙛 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙨. 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙖 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙚 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚, 𝙞𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝙞𝙩... 𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙡𝙡, 𝘾𝙃𝘼𝙉𝙂𝙀 𝙄𝙎 𝙄𝙉𝙀𝙑𝙄𝙏𝘼𝘽𝙇𝙀. 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙮𝙘𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙤𝙧 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙧𝙣, 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙨𝙚.. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝒅𝒐 𝒘𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆? 𝑳𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒌 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒊𝒕. 𝑨 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑬, 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒂 𝒈𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝑪𝑯𝑶𝑰𝑪𝑬. 𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒔, 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒇𝒕𝒔. 𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒕𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒆 𝒈𝒐 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝑯𝑶𝑰𝑪𝑬 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒆, 𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒈𝒆. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒚? 𝑾𝒆 𝒉𝒖𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒈𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒖𝒄𝒉 𝒘𝒂𝒚. 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕, 𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆 & 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒖𝒔 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒏𝒆𝒙𝒕. 𝑲𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒔 𝒏𝒆𝒙𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒇. 𝑯𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒇 𝒘𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒐𝒌 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆, 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑬𝒔 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒔𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒚.. 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕. 𝑾𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒑𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒄𝒐𝒛𝒚 𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒛𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔. 𝑨𝒏𝒚 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑬 𝒊𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒏 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒖𝒔. 𝑩𝒖𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒗𝒊𝒗𝒂𝒍, 𝒊𝒏 𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒗𝒊𝒗𝒆, 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒑𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑬.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4YD1VIduhEs 𝑾𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒐 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒍 𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆, 𝒘𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒍 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒅𝒖𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒖𝒕𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆.

𝘼𝙞𝙣'𝙩 𝙍𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙏𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙏𝙤 𝙎𝙩𝙤𝙥

 - 03 January, 2023 ( Tuesday )

New year, and I am already in the verge of giving up. I have never been so exhausted after many years. Physically, mentally, emotionally & all my senses ready to say 'I'm so done with everything and everyone'..

What keeps me going is, my dreams.. If it's not me, no one else could do it. My dreams need me, my visions need me, the future me waving her hi to me, pursuing me to reach her. Though it's far, I could see tiny tear drops flowing through her cheeks. She's crying. Yet, her smile motivates me to reach her out. Oh man, that woman wants me to make it somewhat!. 

2022 has been a year full of lesson, every single day. So many lesson that it humbled me so much. Even when someone tries to hurt me, all I'll think is 'perhaps they are hurting deep down, it's alright. Let the grieve aside, it shall pass'. Grief will make us wise, priceless wisdom learnt. All of, there is no time for drama anymore. No time for short talks, no time for anything draining. Definitely no time to stop. 

Perhaps being strong & wise isn't just enough. Happiness, peace & love adds spice to life. Literally needs a break to value all these. Remaining 363, boost me up! Amen. 

CHANGE!

Day 204💫

Change could be scary. Routine & schedules allow our mind to digest present and future incidents. Engaging into predictable actions might create a safer cycle, yet, is it what you need? Staring upon the mirror, hallucinating as another persona, questioning self motives mid of night isn't any new case. 

2022 started pretty well, but I wouldn't say it is going well. Ship sails in the ocean often faces strong waves. At times series of waves, non-stop. A complete submerged or sail?! SAIL, that defines my strength. Collecting courage though the journey for more adventurous sail. Awaiting a brand new door to be opened! Amen! ❤ 

me time!

Isolated Mansion 99

Don't go there, they say. It's always the "don't" will trigger the mind of a curious being. Often the voice inside the head keen to know puzzling mystery lies between abandoned walls and man-made theories. I remember seeing number of haunted places and it's unsolved mystery in Malaysia on YouTube and later spot out that a local series were filmed in one of the mentioned place. Which coincidently located 40minutes driveway from my home. Well, I definitely see where the dots are being connected now! Since it's the Raya holiday and I am absolutely getting this urge to go there, Mansion 99. When the mind can't get something off from it, then it's time to face it in reality. Asked few close friends to join in only to know how scared they were involving these sort of stuffs, and I totally get it. This is certainly not everyone's cup of tea. 

What next?! Mission was carried out on my own. 😃 

40minutes drive and arrived at the destination, Nibong Tebal. Such a disappointment when I saw the gate was closed, even surprised to actually see a gate there!😂 Well, the place was closed and public are not allowed to go inside of the Mansion after a crime took place back in July 2020. Hence, the mission was half failure. There is and will always be tomorrow. I hope soon or perhaps some day the story be presented via my body windows. 

And there it is!

Don't go there! Into woods they stay.  

A mess in the Mind

You are such a mess! I told my mind. Without seconds of hesitation. My mind asked, "Really, is it me or you made me so?"

Ugh.. sighed. Yes I did. There are cubicles of thoughts were well arranged and suddenly you have a paranoid feel as if it has all mixed up, the wires from one to another cubicle is interconnected. The colors seems to be all grey, no black & white. Jeezz!

How am I suppose to deal with this? 

Standing right from of the huge virtual mirror. 

I got you, as always babe. I told myself, we'll sort it out all💓. I love you. For all more you are gonna achieve, never give up. Times running. F-O-C-U-S! ⌛

Vegetarianism - The journey so far.

Issa candid aite🙆

Vanakkam! And Holaaaaaa.... 💓😃

Back after some long time yet some fruitful thoughts with the intention to share and enhance the little knowledge that I've accumulated so far.

Day 200++,

Thatssssss a huge accomplishment this year. This MCO 3.0 thought me that when you can't make changes outside, then its definitely time to make a change inside. Inside your mind, body, mental health and home. Controlling what goes inside your body - words and foods. Both can benefit us if we are willing to realize the miracle it does to our body.

No mcd. No kfc. No subway. No fast food. And no meat.

Road to vegetarianism started smoothly with kind help of some good souls around me. I believe the universe sent those souls to me for a meaningful purpose.

Never ever thought i would take such leap in my life. And of course, no meat consumption for all these while. In another word, being a vegetarian! Such a baby step...yet it makes huge difference to my body.

I feel less tired even after a long day, more energetic, body feels light all the time, much alertness, definitely feeling stronger than before, good sleep night routine...and much much more. Plant based diet is actually giving my body more benefits than I thought. Adding on to my new hobby is researching and collecting knowledge on plants with various source of vitamins and it's contribution to our body.

Life's much better and peaceful the moment you FOCUS on you. Your growth, your achievements and your life.

Last but not least. Happy Deepavali to all.

Once in a while kinda stuff.

                                             

Nature's medicine

FOOD consumption isn't as simple as we often think it is. Hey it's 1230pm, let's have lunch, scroll through 'foodpanda' app, what makes our eyes happy, that shall go in our stomach. This is how it works these days. Before covid, drive with your colleague till either of you finds an inspiration to decide where to eat. On luckier day, cravings already made us decide it earlier. 

Well, mother nature is kind, as well as genius. We human, often realizes it late. From nature we emerge, so the medicine lies in nature too, via the food we consume. I've come across several articles & readings that helped me to get better understanding about how does the food we consume affects our daily activities such as working, sleeping, thinking habits including food digestions. Have you ever noticed, on any day you feeling sad or bitter, you will not feel hunger either. It is not just the feel of grief diverted your mind to a state where sense of hunger should not be prioritized, but also activates sad emotions that even when someone places a favorite food in front of us. We still might hesitate to eat it. Food that we consume, can heal us, and can make us sick too, if it is eaten without proper knowledge on its very own benefits. 

Similarly, in order make our digestive system works like a clear tunnel, combining different sources of food is very crucial. Eg, iron+protein source will make our body absorb source effectively rather than consuming iron source foods alone. 

TBC...

Source: Pinterest, Chechelo.

 

Road to Herd Immunity - Aug 2021

Officially done with second dose of Pfizer week ago. Mild side effects as hand pain for couples of days, body aches, dizziness & slightly nauseated.

Initially I was one of those individuals who opposed the idea of vaccination as multiple news source were reporting the effects of death after vaccination all over the world. I mean, this is my body, I get to decide what goes in to it, right? YET, years...for years literally. 

I didn't doubt the fast foods I was consuming, 

I didn't doubt the chemicals I was drinking,

I didn't doubt any bad stuffs that I've taken into my body as solid foods or liquids.

All those wasn't just harmful for my body, in long term it might turn me a patient to certain disease. I've never questioned the unhealthy way that I'm living and my diet styles as I did this year.  

And here, our government is only doing us a favor to curb the Covis-19 virus by initiating the vaccination program. I registered into MySejahtera app on end of February 2021, and called out in July for the first dose. Almost 5 months of wait it was.👀 As a responsible citizen, I have done my part, do yours responsibly. Get good rest, eat good foods. Stay safe. We shall pass this difficult phase soon.💪 

The bloody damn chain! C-19

Seconds becoming minutes,

Minutes to hours,

Hours to days,

Days to months,

Months to a year and half. 

This is our clock journey once COVID-19 was disclosed into air.

First ever lockdown was announced - 18th March 2020, Malaysia - (MCO-Movement Control Order).

As much as lives' being killed, dreams was being buried together.

And border closures suddenly became a positive news worldwide. 

Passports being left aside, locked in closets,

Till this day, dusted, and kept safely. With nothing, but HOPE.

Home is where the heart is. Yes! Indeed. 

Yet, home all day literally doesn't carve a pathway for productive day. Stay home Stay safe they say. Yet do they do the same? "They"?!

Sources went limited, food, family, close contacts, a friendly gesture of smile more than a minute considered deadly. 

We used to have sudden meet-ups, gatherings, celebrations, cheer in crowd, multiracial festive celebration visits together....

Strangers was welcomed home warm-heatedly, treated like family,

And now, we fix appointments for weekend conference calls, video calls, skype gathering, zoom-dinner celebrations (even though it does not make ANY sense).

Today, families are avoided as though they are strangers. So one would not be entangled with the chain. The bloody damn chain of Covid-19!!!

In between these 4 walls, does it get any better? Well well, lets have some gratitude. 

Some... are sleeping covered with layers of road dirt and in harmful smuts. Answering the question, life will be better. It will...for raindrops can be saved for days ahead.

As much as difficulty in breathing that we encounter, life was merely about SURVIVING and not verily LIVING.

Surviving merely matters! This damn chain, causing more demise in soul than body. 

I do wish for miracle to... Wake us all up. 

When this disastrous disease will have its epilogue, WHEN.?!",

Day when i actually felt I need a break. Going to work & back home. Repetitive routine can drain you man.. 

-Kanmani-

Blog page, 

° shewritesitall ™ °

Life is Not a Race.

Le bridge

Live life. Don't chase life nor people. Life is not a race.. yes. It is not.

Have you seen people who just glow, evolved so much than the last time you saw them. Their life gets better, their working standards improved, so much of self growth lies there. Mind growth, success and positivity is what you see on them. Do you know why? Why.. why..😀

It's because they do their own work. They do their own businesses. They do their own thing. They do everything to make their life better off. And they do it for themselves. And so...They are happy. They are at peace... Let's be "them"..

Let's just be extra loving to ourselves. Extra care on ourselves. Extra effort on ourselves. Everything extra to you. By you. For you. What you'll see? Glow, growth. Betterment. That's how to be beautifully you. One thing that I, myself personally do. Think of self improvement rather than looking it outside of yourself or out of your circle. The more you focus on yourself, the more goodness you will feel. Long term rewards are here..⚘

Some day on a sunny day..

Bona Fide

♥ 01/07/1991 ♥ Entering 3 series. 

Number of strong woman's whom refuse to settle down for anything lesser than what they know they actually deserves often portrait as stubborn ladies. Well, life is NOT about being born, play, pass through infant stage, studying, learn family grace and etiquette, graduate, work, marriage, getting child, and then complains about everything till you die. No. 

At some point, life will teach all of us, what is each others purpose. Life itself is a journey to encounter on day basis. It is ENTIRELY one's decision to make it interesting or craft a 4 surface box, live in it. It is not a short-course to be summarized in few lines or episodes of some drama sequels. Man this is real happening. You bleed blood! Alright, the articulation sounds violent uh. 😆😅 

Tip of the tree is here, l Life, live it. Authorize on your being, your existence. Do not say yes for average. Beyond is where you know who you are. Yes, beyond. 

Authentically me.

Being optimistic is crucial for survival

You can feel blue, yet do not stay there.. 💪💫

⛬ What is the purpose of asking for tamil background knowledge(must know how to read, write and speak fluent or pure tamil) in hiring a television presenter such as a food review presenter and a host for tamil programs and shows. Why? When they are only using 'bahasa baku' tamil, which we often use in daily life.

What is the purpose of hiring such people when they insist of using day-to-day words while hosting without having basic sense and realization of current phenomena, especially when handling hot topics or topics that are very much concerned to the society? 

More than anything, I'm curious. It's not a live show, it must have gone through by the important 'heads' such as the director, producer and editor and many more involved. Yet, this is what we call human error. Mistake happens. Everywhere. 🙂

As a student from communication background, to get into tamil channels and media, it was definitely a hard deal for me as I'm not someone with tamil knowledge background. I learnt to read and write on my own as a basic need as a Tamil girl. Admitting yes I know to read and talk tamil yet it might not be a pro level says how much I'm in love with my own mother tongue. Alot of people..whom I've met and shares the same view as me would definitely understand of what I'm serving here.

Yet, the struggle was real. And at a point, gradually the fire in you will slowly fade as you know there's no proper requirement being full filled by yourself and so the journey was diverted into something else I was interested with sometimes a 'have to' scenario. 

Yet...Yet.. Some individuals doesn't know the value of the position they are sitting on. 🙂 Value. How the universe have picked you from hundreds of people whom yearning to get the opportunity that you...didn't use well. 

It's a mistake. Every one makes mistakes. But, no one can escape from criticism from the public. Being a little humble, saying yes, I made a mistake. Will put your rank higher than you are holding. Rather than seeing it as something else. 

If it's someone from our own family, would you feel sorry for anyone facing these sort of situation. Well, as for me I'm not taking any side here. But just a self thought, valuing what you have is so important. Being grateful and working towards a better you in terms of achieving a long term goal is a daily reminder to one self. A master was once a beginner. In media field, treat yourself always as a beginner for wider range learning. Learning is for life time. 🙂✔💯

Who are you?

 If someone asks, who are you? What would your reply be?

The most common one, I am (mentioning our name). Or some slight different way of thinking, the answer is "I am a human"! Yet, its common. In spiritual term, who are we? Today, one of the day that is slight unusual than the rest before. I had an interesting conversation with a friend, whom is also actively involved in spiritual activities.  After a short coffee catch up, we were randomly sliding into why there's lack of satisfaction in people these days even if being comforted with almost all worldly things? 

Then he stopped sipping his coffee, place the paper cup on the wooden chair in between us and he asked me,"Kanmani, who are you"?. Sudden respond, I rolled my eyeballs, yes.. He reckon, who do you think you are?

And I, answered I am a soul, trapped in this body. That is how exactly I see things. I know, its not normal even a bit. But that's still fine. Cause he then said "Yes, absolutely.." 

That was a goal by luck kind of answer though. I swear. 

And my friend started to explain more..Ready? To go in depth? And this is my derivation of thoughts...

We are presented to this world as souls and we all are given body made by 5 elements to live and survive on earth. (Basic) A soul, a single soul is believed* to take 84 birth by max counts and 1 birth by least. Every soul will have its own karmic counts on earth as it starts living. 

What is a Karmic Count?

A deed, which is done by oneself with a conscious mind, varies by situations and conditions and also can be categorized into good and bad karmic count. In each birth, a soul will continuously keep settling off their debt by previous karmic count. Got me? Yup, more like a cycle isn't it?

Coming back to our topic, we all are, souls that have body. It means, your body is not valuable without presence of soul in you, or in other word, dead! Dead, in fact, is not the end as we somewhat thought. Yes, you read it right. Why do i say so? Well, how do a soul dies? Now this is the point you're allowed to think..

Karmic count action, is based of 3 important base. 

Sukarma relates to good actions which produce good results.

Vikarma relates to bad actions which have bad consequences.

Akarma relates to the fruits of actions in previous lives.

This, decides what and who we shall be in every birth...

So, dead is not the end of your soul. It's not the end of who you are. The story changes, plot changes but character by heart will be the same until lessons learnt. And debts being settled off. Now, sometimes it is good not to know everything. Life is a search, its a process of finding who you are and your purpose to be born as who you are now. Who are you..THE REAL YOU.

If you encounter an opportunity to meet a stranger or someone new, a sudden thought sharing can make you re-think of prebuild viewpoints. Say yes, and start the talk.

And our coffee cups is empty.. uhh I'm not done with the coffee, lets buy 1 more latte..😋